[SpamCop-Social] The O2 isn't helping and I'm suicidal
dfmanno at mail.com
Tue May 9 20:33:41 EDT 2006
My DME guy delivered the oxygen machine Friday night. Here it is Tuesday evening
and it doesn't seem to have done a damn thing except for the tube wrapping
itself around my legs when I try to get into bed. I actually feel _worse_ now
than I did Friday.
I woke up this morning and promptly had a coughing fit and the dry heaves. The
weather has turned damp and chilly, so my arthritis is acting up. Every movement
I don't know if I've mentioned it here, but I'm trying to get into a long-term
inpatient program to deal with my multiple health problems. I found out Friday
that if I go in, I lose my apartment (because it's Section 8 and you have to
actually live in the unit to keep it). Homelessness is my number one fear, bar
none. I've been homeless. I hated it. Now I have a choice of staying sick and
keeping my home, or getting better and living on the streets.
The depression is just getting worse. I go back and forth between wanting to get
an Uzi and start shooting random passersby, and wanting to get a fifth of Jim
Beam and take all the pills in my house.
Life's a bitch.
D.F. Manno | dfmanno at mail.com
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